by ISR Guest Author
Being new to my international school, I naturally wanted to form friendships. I soon gravitated to a few colleagues and began hanging out with them on an individual basis.
Honestly, I should have realized early on that one of my new friends was a sycophant of the worst kind — the eyes and ears of our director. I found out the hard way.
I never made disparaging comments about the school or administration. To the contrary, I was quite content. But, out drinking one night with this friend, I made the mistake of sharing that I had paid my way through college, 10 years ago, as an exotic dancer. What possessed me to share this glimpse into my past, I don’t know. My colleague simply shrugged her shoulders and commented, It was probably good money.
To cut to the chase … I had been having issues with a high school student, the son of a member of the ultra-privileged class. The boy, an ill-mannered, overindulged, academically lazy kid failed tests, quizzes and was the source of endless classroom disruptions. He reeked of the stench of self-entitlement.
Nearing the end of the first semester I found myself in a meeting with the director and the boy’s father. Both the director and father accused me of purposely singling out the boy, who purportedly had no history of academic failure or behavior issues. I knew this to be far from the truth based on what colleagues had shared with me.
Just prior to the close of the reporting period the director paid me visit, instructing me to do whatever it took to bring this kid’s grades up. I failed the boy. He got what he had earned, period.
That’s when things took a turn for the worst! Summoned to the office, the director hedged the topic of this student’s grade and jumped right in with a new concern: What would happen if parents found out I had been an exotic dancer? He couldn’t take that chance. I could ruin the school’s reputation. He fired me then and there. Ouch!
Now I’m at a new school. I’m much less trusting and I play my cards close. I have formed a few acquaintances to spend time with, but have come to realize that these fledgling relationships, formed out of proximity and circumstances, are fragile and possibly fraught with unforeseen consequences.
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So inflate the grade and give the kid an A. Who cares? Not your child, not your country. Get what you can and move on. Welcome to international teaching.
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cynically accurate. International teaching is a transient game. People come and go and very few end up as real friends.
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I do not know why you did not deny it. The Principal is believing what someone else told them about you. This is type of anecdotal report is meaningless and will never ever hold in a court. You should have pointed out that hearsay means nothing. You could asked who told him this and then had that person called in. How could they prove it? How can they even prove that you said it? Judges in a court case will always say, “don´t tell me what Jane said, that is hearsay.” Learn how to stand up for yourself. I know what I am talking about because I took an International School to Court in Switzerland of all place—and that is exactly what the judges kept saying. And I won! In the meantime, give up alcohol. It serves no good purpose.
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The original poster didn’t fail anyone. The student failed on his own; the director failed as an earnest educator; the father failed as a parent.
As far as I’m aware, teacher’s don’t „fail“ students. The ones that don’t make the mark fail themselves despite whatever support network is around them.
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Let this be a little to all the little children out there, so you do not repeat the same mistake. As has been noted alcohol loosens up lips/ inhibitions and the school environment and your school colleagues are the WORST place for this to occur. Why? That’s easy. it’s because the world of “education” and the people in it is the worst of all worlds, COMBINING the often religious based Puritanical moralizing of the “right” with the Cultural Revolution, cancel culture and political correctness of the “left”. Never get drunk and deeply engage in any contentious/meaningful topics with people from school. Avoid, avoid avoid. !
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but “what about the children”?? 😉
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What is wrong about being an exotic dancer? I thought that diversity was a core value of 21-century schools.
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One of my main rules is to never drink with much less get drunk with people I don’t really know from my school work circle. I’ve heard of so many instances where alcohol loosens up lips and inhibitions and the results are almost always deleterious. If you must, get drunk with locals and or people you do not work with.
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You didn’t make the mistake – your ‘colleague’ did.
Everyone now knows you confided in them and only them, yet this information got back to the director. You got out of a pretty dodgy school and can go on to bigger and better things, while your ‘colleague’ is still there because she can’t cut it somewhere else, and is so insecure she has to running to the top with every bit of gossip.
I’m guessing that this school is somewhere in the UAE…..
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Yup, 100% rookie mistake. The lure of being able to apply one’s profession overseas has its perks. It presents you different culture, travel, and also people. The latter is the reason I refrain from drinking during induction socials. And keep my social outings and friends away from school circles.
I too paid my way through college by working 3 jobs at once. I know plenty of, now, doctors, pharma, engineers and architects who were escorts and dancers during our days. This info stay between us, our now plus ones and thank God we didn’t grow up with smart phones.
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It wasn’t an error to trust your colleagues. We all function on trust and when its betrayed, we have to realize that its an outlier and most colleagues are trustworthy. your error was in not contesting your firing with legal action (regardless of the country) and confronting the parent, student and director on your own. You were exposed and you knew it from the get go, based on what you’ve said about this entitled brat. He became arrogant and entitled because his parents and the director conspired to “smooth his path” , a very common occurrence in for money schools. You did the right thing in failing the little loser and in refusing to bend the rules. That makes you a real teacher. You’ve found another school and hopefully will have learnt something positive, not just the tortise-shell reactions you seem to have espoused. What you did in your past is nobody’s business so don’t share personal stories. Did you bother proverbially to slap the bitch who ratted on you and shame her?
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